Alaskan Hit Man Crossing the Border! Evidence!

DO YOU SEE THIS? Click on the picture above. Now do you see, Clarice? This is irrefutable proof of several things.

• First, the intern is probably dead. We haven't exactly heard from him since right before we posted on our blog yesterday, so we're just assuming he's either scattered from Edmonton to Toronto, or he's had his body turned completely inside out. 50-50, take your pick.

• Second, the Alaskan Hit Man is crossing the border. And where is he crossing? None other than the state of Michigan. Know why that's important? Because our biggest hater claims to have graduated from the prestigious UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN. You remember him. He's the guy that "knows and makes the future" by trading "$4 trillion dollars worth of commodities a day." Coincidence? Did MannDubinBlog have their way with Sarah Palin last night? Well yea, we did, but NO, this isn't a coincidence.

• Third, this is a much bigger problem than we thought. If our enemies are teaming up with the Alaskan Hit Man we're definitely in trouble. As providers of truth and all that is good, we've made a lot of enemies along the way.

There's more. Since MannDubinBlog's recent acquisition of small companies in Boston, we've had some of our administrators stationed there. The rest of our team is still in Atlanta. We don't know where the Alaskan Hit Man will head next, but rest assured that we'll keep you, our billions of readers, posted about our exact whereabouts 24/7.

P.S. You think Homeland Security will catch him? I wouldn't even bet the intern's left nut on it.