Becca B's Thoughts on the Intern

This is MannDubinBlog speaking: for the first time EVER we are allowing a guest writer on MannDubinBlog. You may have seen her before on "Why Somebody Should Give Me a Million Bucks," but this time we promise a better performance from Becca B.







From Becca B:

I'm sure by now you've all seen the picture of MannDubinBlog out with MannDubinIntern, so I have a few things to say about this "intern." He might be retarded. I don't use the term loosely having grown up in a diverse community, but I really think the intern might be mentally ill/disabled.

At first sight he was ugly. Really ugly. He looked like a Renaissance Festival actor who's primary activities include eating, rubbing grease on his face, and mating with the livestock. Seriously. But since I'm kind and understanding, I can get past first impressions.

Then, he spoke. I had thought things couldn't have been worse before, but now I longed for silence. Complete silence. Like in space. But no, the intern would not stop talking about Dungeons and Dragons, MannDubinBlog, and explaining the intricacies of the prosecution of every serial killer in the last 3 decades. Yea- I thought he was going to chop me up and put me in his freezer before the end of the night.

So I'm not saying don't read his blog, but I am saying if you see him on the street, run. Better yet, throw the nearest available trash at him because that's what this mysoginistic piece of shit deserves. Nobody likes him because he's a psycho and an asshole. Seriously.


Love,
Becca B.

Please Excuse the Intern

Aylo folks-

Meet our intern:

Just wanted to give you all a brief heads up that he finally has his own blog. We are writing this because we really must be the best bosses ever, and we wanted to let you know that. I mean we're giving him instant publicity!

The only requirements for the blog are that he is not to reveal his name and he is not allowed to promote anything that crosses MannDubinBlog's values. Pretty fair, right? We think so. Get to know the intern at http://manndubinintern.blogspot.com.

If he offends any one of you in the slightest we vow not to hesitate before we throw him back out on the street, or the backwoods of Tennessee in his case. Remember the natural order of things: MannDubinBlog, Readers, Beer, Fun, Cats, the Homeless, intern.

Yep, Dick Cheney IS the Devil

Earlier this week we were discussing whether Dick Cheney is simply an idiot or if he's the Devil. After rigorous debate we came to the conclusion that Dick Cheney is none other than the Devil incarnate. Better yet, in our extensive research we uncovered damning evidence to support our claim. Our evidence is a photograph that shows Cheney's true identity:

As you can see, Cheney displays several common characteristics of the Devil as well as a few lesser known traits. For instance, we all know that the Devil should have horns out of his head, and Cheney has these. What's lesser known is that the Devil actually has fangs similar to those of a vampire, and he has a heart as well. Granted, his heart is made of pure tar (see the black? yea, that's tar), but it is still there nonetheless.

Some of you might be wondering, "where did MannDubinBlog find such damning evidence?" The answer is simple. While we were eating lunch at Ann's Snack Bar in walked Dick Cheney. This photograph was taken in the middle of him eating his Ghetto Burger. That's pure fact. Take it to the bank. For more facts about Dick Cheney and his being wrong check this out. Until then, if you see this man on the street please feel free to throw stones, sticks, holy water, or feces at him.

Drinking Tips...Whynatte and Goody's.

Check out the new post at The Male Demographic. Get there by using the conveniently located link to the right of this post.

MannDubinBlog Gets a Smoothie...FAIL

Today your favorite writers were sitting poolside discussing possible places to find a delicious chilled beverage. First we thought about a Slush Puppy. "Yea, man. But the only place that sells them is that Chevron like three miles away." He was right. Then we thought, "Quiktrip serves delicious icy beverages," but that also was too far away. Finally we decided on Smoothie King, and that is where the adventure began.

Closed. And not just temporarily. Closed up like Lindsay Lohan's legs for d**k. "Shit," we all thought to ourselves (and some said aloud). We had all finally agreed that what we really wanted was a freaking Caribbean Way. While standing outside some nutjob came up with coupons for an alternative smoothie place. "Are you kidding, guy?" "No, I'm not. In fact, we're even better because we're all natural." F**k that. All natural = less sugar = taste like Lindsay Lohan. We took the coupons and agreed to NOT check out the au naturale smoothie. "After all," we told the nutjob, "this is the former residence of the smoothie KING, so I'm pretty sure you've got nothing on him, unless your place happens to be called Smoothie God, in which case I think you win." It wasn't Smoothie God. I can't even remember the name.

Stop 2: Our local McChevron. After leaving the King's former residence we decided to check out a nearby gas station because they would surely have a delicious and icy beverage. "If they don't have an icy beverage, I'll kick the attendant in the mouth," one of our writers shared.

Out of Order. And no sign, to boot. Needless to say, we were angry so we kicked the gas station attendant in his dirty mouth and walked into the attached McDonald's (hence the term McChevron). We'd heard about these iced drinks that McDonald's is promoting, and some of our writers are large fellows who can always go for a McDouble, so we decided to try one.

Stop 2.5: Mickey D's

Needless to say, we were disappointed. Just because you can make an icy coffee flavored beverage doesn't mean you should make an icy coffee flavored beverage.

So we were sitting there, eating our drinks and drinking our burgers when we thought of Harold and Kumar. WWHaKD? What Harold and Kumar would NOT do is settle for a McIced Coffee when they really want a Caribbean Way. But we're not Harold and Kumar and we weren't high (damn the interns!). So, absolutely and entirely dejected, we left the McDonalds to go cry and decide how to write about our ordeal, and here you are.

No Love Lost

Hard as it is to believe, not everyone loves us. I mean, most everyone loves us, but like anybody doing their own thing, we have a few haters.

This being America, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even if that opinion includes hating on MannDubinBlog thus qualifying you as a terrorist.

This is certainly the case with one anonymous young gentlemen who is pretty determined to tarnish the hard earned reputation of MannDubinBlog.

Our new fan wrote us the following; " ...if I wanted to I could buy the company that you work for tomorrow. I KNOW THE FUTURE, I MAKE THE FUTURE. I deal with the most advanced and innovative commodities market on the planet, trading over $4 trillion daily. Im sure you have no clue what it is."

Just in case we had any doubt of this guys acumen, he qualified himself by letting us know that he "had a finance degree from the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan." We've never heard of this "University of Michigan" he speaks of but good for him. Us simple Georgia boys had to settle for our simple Georgia educations.

He is right about one thing, we definitely do not have any idea what he's talking about, but we are eagerly waiting for him to buy the company that we work for. Real good deals right now.

Keep the love coming our way. In the meantime we love everyone, especially the haters.

We want you!

No recession here at MannDubinBlog. Quite the opposite, we're expanding and we're looking to take you with us!

We're looking for:

-Bloggers
-Writers
-Marketing Mavericks/Mavens
-Groupies

Do you want to be able to tell all your friends that your blog and/or ideas are now part of a massive new media conglomerate? We did, that's why we started blogging. Now you can too!

If you think you have what it takes, we're waiting to hear from you. Don't hold back, this is America, creativity is encouraged (and torture is accepted).

Email us at mann.dubin@gmail.com to get involved with our exciting company as we change the face of media forever.