We don't know about all this swine flu nonsense. Seriously? This is how it ends? We have a worldwide economic crisis, mass genocide, and global terrorism. With all that now the powers that be are telling us that we're all going to die from a sexually transmitted disease that I'm pretty sure is contracted by having sexual intercourse with a pig.
My previous statement might sound controversial but dammit we're under attack! This is no time for us to worry about hurting feelings or being politically correct. S0 I beg of you, if you insist on slutting it up with bacon, in spite of the known dangers, don't turn around and hop in bed with the sorority girl who lives down the hall. Because most likely we too will be trying to hop in bed with the sorority girl down the hall and we don't want those of you who have been intimate with pigs spreading swine flu to our perfectly decent sorority girls.
In short, if you must go pig, please be considerate of those of us who like mating with our own kind and who don't like dying of swine flu.
Of course, if this all turns out to be how things end for humanity and swine flu turns out not to be a STD but rather a highly contagious airborne virus we will formally retract our statements.
Good luck to everyone through these trying times.
